Excerpts from 100 Meals to a Kiss by Rachael Sircar
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Are you a food snob? Because I love food, and if you ruin that for me, we are definitely not going to be able to hang out.”
“You want to hang out with me?”
“Not if you’re going to picking apart every food item that we eat. And just to let you know… I eat a lot of food. Every day, as a matter of fact. Sometimes three meals in one day, plus snacks. I don’t want to brag, but I can eat the heck out of some food around here.”
Max couldn’t help but break out in a huge grin. “Well then, you must be the woman that God planned for me.”
“Hot Catering Guy, meet Dedicated Ingestor. I am definitely the gal for you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I don’t know, Megan. I’m not sure he’s the one for me.”
“You’ve got to be kidding. Hot Catering Guy is the perfect man for you. It’s like God plopped him right there in your lap and said ‘Here you go, dear woman that appreciates food more than life itself. I shall give you this man that appreciates preparing food more than life itself. Now go and have small babies that will appreciate throwing and smearing food all over their faces more than life itself.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When they were waiting in line for the monorail to Magic Kingdom, Audrey pointed out a large white gazebo in the distance draped in flowers and ribbon. “That’s where they do the weddings. When you and I elope, that’ll be the place.”
“So, we’re eloping? What if I want a large wedding with three hundred guests?”
Audrey cocked an eyebrow and leaned back against the railing. “Because I would only want the best caterer in the state, and surely you wouldn’t want to cater your own wedding.” She turned back to the gazebo. “Besides, this is the happiest place on earth. And when I get married, it will be the happiest day of my life.”
“And you think it will be with me?”
“Why not? You’re the one that laughs at my jokes, puts up with my awkward sarcasm, and feeds my unending hunger like no man alive. Of course I’d marry you.”
“And when, exactly, will I be proposing for this Disney wedding?”
“Meal three-hundred. Being the religious guy that you are, I figure that you have a ‘no banging before marriage’ rule. So, I guess we have about two hundred sixty-one more meals to go.” Audrey gave him a full smile and a wink. “By the way, I like those princess cut diamonds. After all, you are what you wear.”
Max reached for her left hand and lifted her ring finger. “Meal three-hundred. It’s a deal.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I’m sorry,” Audrey said, needing to clarify the answer that Max had given her. “Did you just say that you killed someone?” she whispered, hoping that there were no intruding ears listening in on their conversation.
Max spun a fork along his plate and said nothing.
“Like testifying in court and sending someone to death row type of kill someone? Or cut someone in little pieces and put them in a freezer type of kill someone? Because Megan had mentioned that you might be a serial killer at one time, and I’d hate to think that I’m only finding this out now - on our hundredth meal date. Actually, this will be a hundred and one.”
She couldn’t stop her mouth. It was common when she was nervous. But Max wasn’t talking, and the silence was horrifying, so she continued. “Killing is such a general term. I mean, you killed me when you replied to my embarrassing text pictures. I killed the engine in your car about ninety times today. I’m going to kill Megan for showing the entire office a video of our sexy phone meal. And I killed it in my Zumba class the other day. So, you need to define killing for me.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Are you a food snob? Because I love food, and if you ruin that for me, we are definitely not going to be able to hang out.”
“You want to hang out with me?”
“Not if you’re going to picking apart every food item that we eat. And just to let you know… I eat a lot of food. Every day, as a matter of fact. Sometimes three meals in one day, plus snacks. I don’t want to brag, but I can eat the heck out of some food around here.”
Max couldn’t help but break out in a huge grin. “Well then, you must be the woman that God planned for me.”
“Hot Catering Guy, meet Dedicated Ingestor. I am definitely the gal for you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I don’t know, Megan. I’m not sure he’s the one for me.”
“You’ve got to be kidding. Hot Catering Guy is the perfect man for you. It’s like God plopped him right there in your lap and said ‘Here you go, dear woman that appreciates food more than life itself. I shall give you this man that appreciates preparing food more than life itself. Now go and have small babies that will appreciate throwing and smearing food all over their faces more than life itself.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When they were waiting in line for the monorail to Magic Kingdom, Audrey pointed out a large white gazebo in the distance draped in flowers and ribbon. “That’s where they do the weddings. When you and I elope, that’ll be the place.”
“So, we’re eloping? What if I want a large wedding with three hundred guests?”
Audrey cocked an eyebrow and leaned back against the railing. “Because I would only want the best caterer in the state, and surely you wouldn’t want to cater your own wedding.” She turned back to the gazebo. “Besides, this is the happiest place on earth. And when I get married, it will be the happiest day of my life.”
“And you think it will be with me?”
“Why not? You’re the one that laughs at my jokes, puts up with my awkward sarcasm, and feeds my unending hunger like no man alive. Of course I’d marry you.”
“And when, exactly, will I be proposing for this Disney wedding?”
“Meal three-hundred. Being the religious guy that you are, I figure that you have a ‘no banging before marriage’ rule. So, I guess we have about two hundred sixty-one more meals to go.” Audrey gave him a full smile and a wink. “By the way, I like those princess cut diamonds. After all, you are what you wear.”
Max reached for her left hand and lifted her ring finger. “Meal three-hundred. It’s a deal.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I’m sorry,” Audrey said, needing to clarify the answer that Max had given her. “Did you just say that you killed someone?” she whispered, hoping that there were no intruding ears listening in on their conversation.
Max spun a fork along his plate and said nothing.
“Like testifying in court and sending someone to death row type of kill someone? Or cut someone in little pieces and put them in a freezer type of kill someone? Because Megan had mentioned that you might be a serial killer at one time, and I’d hate to think that I’m only finding this out now - on our hundredth meal date. Actually, this will be a hundred and one.”
She couldn’t stop her mouth. It was common when she was nervous. But Max wasn’t talking, and the silence was horrifying, so she continued. “Killing is such a general term. I mean, you killed me when you replied to my embarrassing text pictures. I killed the engine in your car about ninety times today. I’m going to kill Megan for showing the entire office a video of our sexy phone meal. And I killed it in my Zumba class the other day. So, you need to define killing for me.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~