The reason my first few novelettes are going to be sufficiently incorrect will be mainly due to the fact that I'm too cheap and lazy to perform any decent research.
Where does one even begin to research these things anyway? I am surely a googling professional by now but oft find myself drifting from researching scholarly articles describing predictive analytics to perusing Ryan Gosling 'Hey Girl' memes. Yes, I'm an addict. I've also been known to spend senseless hours tittering over my biggest downfall - stupid autocorrects. Hence, once again I find myself asking this question: To whom can I go for an easy answer to a difficult question about predictive behavioral analytics without paying, bribing, blackmailing or generally actually talking to anyone? Or emailing. Or texting for that matter because I've partied with statisticians before and I don't think I could run with that crowd again. Therefore, I certainly can't raise myself to a level in which I'd feel confident enough to hand over my cell number. If you are a giving person, you work with data models and are interested in pursuing an non-paid, non-communicative, non-partying, relationship with a non-published, non-communicative, non-statistician-level-partier then you're the one that can save the day! You'll even have an opportunity to read my first three novelettes for FREE! Now how's that for a bribe? If you have to ask what a data model is and you're thinking Christie Brinkley with a Vizio this is not the job for you. Well, actually... it may be... You sound like someone that could actually believe the less than fully researched data analytics and would be willing to skim over a few pages to get to the exciting stuff giving me at least four stars on Amazon. Yeah. On the other hand, get me a Starbucks barista. They usually seem too smart for their britches. I'll ask them my pertinent questions and hope for sufficient answers. Answers that will make me sound like I know what I'm talking about without coming off like those partying statisticians I used to hang out with in the early nineties. Yes Mr. TaeWan Impress-me-with-your-processing-skills. I'm talking to you. (Heh heh. I can say this because I'm mighty sure he'll never, ever, ever let's hope ever read a goofy blog like this). Anyway, back to the laziness and cheapness factor. I'm just going to hope the people reading my books will be either too drunk in the beauty of the story or too far removed from knowledge of data models (far removed as in growing up in an aboriginal walkabout camp) to care that the facts are inaccurate. Wish me luck!
0 Comments
I have no shame. I'm stealing a friends identity. No, not for myself. I could never reach the heights of this glorious individual. I'm stealing her identity for my next book. I've already warned her of the kidnapping and she doesn't seem to mind. I guess her identity is something she is willing to surrender willingly. I, however, would be less likely to accept such an offer.
For one, my life is quite boring. So anyone that would want to use my identity for a new book would have my deepest sympathies because they will surely only sell four copies of the book. One for myself, one for the author to place on his or her bookshelf, one for the author's mother and one for my mother (who loves pretty much any book). I'm not going to use my friend's name. OK, maybe just her first name. It really is a fabulous name. But NO HINTS. I'm not going to use her full name. I won't even tempt you with her actual employer. I will only tease you with the fact that she is very adventurous, fun, glamorous, and unlikely to make fun of me when, scratch that, IF my book flops. For my next nail biting novel I am trekking through he beautiful and overwhelming streets of Nepal. I had the idea of writing this story before the terrible earthquakes hit, so I'm teetering on thoughts of including the disaster. I'm eighty percent sure I will avoid any mention of the catastrophe because it's just too hard for me to fathom in real life. I can't imagine trying to tackle it in a book with any semblance of understanding. I can barely watch the news of the event. It's heart-breaking to see what the people have gone through. So the book will be taking place prior to April 2015. I'm still not finished with the third book of my last series so I may be flip flopping back and forth between novels. Hopefully I'll be able to keep all the characters straight. I found myself mired in writers block with the last book because I made the plot line too difficult to sort out, so I'm going to have to do some serious cutting on that one. I figured that starting with a fresh little novelette would give me a pleasant enough break. Enough of a break that would bring life back to my addled mind. So here I go, diving into a Nepalese mystery that will hopefully excite readers and make my friend-of-stolen-identity very happy. |